Monday, 27 May 2013

Butterfly Kisses

I am sure that many of you know this song.  It was very popular a few years ago by some country singer (sorry, I'm not a follower).  And I am also sure that at least one of you knows (Coco, are you paying attention?) how much I hate that song.  I despise it and must change the channel if I hear it on the radio or tv.  Now, what you don't know is WHY I hate that song.  Every time I hear it, I cry uncontrollably.  It makes me think of my little doll when she was younger and how I miss those days.  Possibly becuz I wish I knew then what I know now and how I would have done things very differently.  I was a working mom from the time she was 4 months old til she was 8, when we moved up here.  During that time I also was going to night school at least 1 night a week, often 2, so there were many nights that I missed out saying goodnight.  There was also missed opportunities for us to spend real girl time together.  Not to say it didn't happen.  My mom reaped the benefit of that, spending many Saturdays with Coco, riding the subway, shopping and going out for lunches.  They were a great team.  When I was studying and PJ was working a Saturday, Coco and Mom would take off for the day.  To this day, I really am not sure where all they went!  LOL  Anyway, I have said all that to say that no mom does it perfectly and even Martha Stewart made mistakes, I am sure.  It doesn't really matter if there are nannies and private schools and wealth, or just day to day working parents, everyone can be a star and I believe that every mother has certain regrets about things she would have changed.  An older mom once said that she thought she did a good job bringing up her numerous kids "cuz none of them are in jail"!  Wow, there's a standard!  When the bar is set that low, everyone is a winner.  
So, moms, and would-be moms, don't spend any time fretting over what you shoulda or coulda done.  Kids are very resilient; they learn what they live and if you do your best to raise them with love and encouragement and guidance and morals, then you've done all you can.  I wish I could say that I did that every day but I didn't.  I made lots of mistakes that can never be taken back, unfortunately.  But my kids still turned out okay, remarkably, some might even say extraordinary.  And I love them more than anything else.
But please don't play that song.
Love from Lulu xxxxxxx

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